Making Room for New Habits

I love to write, doodle and sketch out ideas.  

There is something therapeutic in the power of pen to paper for me.    That is why I typically carry around several notebooks, filled with anything from project lists to thoughts on writing projects.  My creativity is so linked to writing that I will often find ideas springing forth faster than I can move the pen (or pencil) across the page.

My family has picked up on my affinity for journals and have contributed to my “collection” (O.K. it is a hoard) by gifting me with beautiful notebooks that sit in my closet waiting to be filled.  As a notebook is filled, I look forward to the process of spending time in my basket of journals, picking out the next one to be used.  Please don’t judge me.  I know there are others out there who can relate.

When I began my religious studies journey, I was looking forward to researching and then writing about topics about which I am so passionate.  However, a 12-page typed report equates to many, many hand-written pages.  In other words, I was drowning in paper and losing a great deal of productivity in having to type what I had written.

After hand-writing a few reports and then having to type them for submission, it became painfully obvious that something had to change.  Time did not allow me the luxury of using my love of writing to elicit my creativity.  Yet, I could not see how I was going to find inspiration in sitting at a computer to produce my work.

I could not see how…

When I had finally reached a point where “I could not see,” I realized that I had not asked in prayer how to approach my dilemma.  I had reverted to my old pattern of only looking at this problem through the lens of solving it on a physical, not spiritual, level. 

That night on my prayer bench, I asked God to show me how a computer can become a source of inspiration for me.  I then went to bed with no idea how this was going to be answered but knowing that I had done all I could.  Besides, if the prayer was not answered by morning, I had to be up early to hand-write a final essay for my New Testament class!

The next morning, I awoke at my normal time, well before the proverbial rooster.  I went through my typical morning routine: feed the dogs, cat, make tea, read, pray and then start my homework.  I opened my class book and separated my notes, settling in for a few hours of writing. 

As I set my journal on my lap to begin my essay, I sensed something was different.  No, not different.  Wrong.  No, not wrong.  Gone.  Yes.  That was it.  Something was gone.

My pen simply would not move to the paper, and I felt no desire to write.  I knew with an overwhelming sense of peace that my answer to prayer had arrived.  I put down my pen and paper, picked up my laptop and effortlessly tapped out the essay.  Creativity flowed, passions stirred and the finished product was indeed Divine.

Answers to prayers come in many forms and may arrive at any time.  Sometimes the answer to prayer means we have to leave something behind to make room for new possibilities.  Even though I miss the physical writing component of the creative process, I have been blessed immeasurably simply by being willing to trust God to mold me into something new. 

Make room for new habits.